The Morning After The Night Before

I think it’s safe to say that the best part of a date is always the morning after. This is when the real fun of a date starts (unless the date is still going on the morning after). That never happens to me by the way. But if it does I’ll be sure to tell you. This is when you get to tell your friends the ins and outs, whether this be good or bad. This is one date in particular which springs to mind, so I thought I would share with you my morning after the night before story.

Have you men ever wondered what us girls talk about the morning after a date? Well, here it is in all its glory. My girlfriends get a full run down the following day.  I thought I would just copy and paste an old email for your amusement.

The Mate You alive?

Everybodys Mate – Only just and it’s another thumbs down haha ee ******* I’m worried about myself.  I’ll email you properly when I get into work.

The Mate OMG – I’m going to make a coffee ready so I read your email in comfort. I actually thought this might be it, you know, with him being a builder ha ha ha ha

Everybodys Mate –  Trust me, that was his only good feature.

Well, you know I told you he said he was building an extension round the corner to me so I drove past to see him and there was a good looking man at the bottom of the ladder and a man with a weird shaped body at the top of the ladder. Well, yes, it was the weird shaped man that turned up (of course it was, it was my date after all).

I spoke to him just before I got there, I asked him what he was wearing and he said blue jumper, I’m sitting right by the door as you come in. I told him I was wearing black pants, leather jacket and was about 5 mins away. As I walked in he was right by the door like he said, I knew it was him, he knew it as me as I told him what I was wearing and how close I was. When I walked towards him smiling, he picked up his pint and started to drink it and never even acknowledged me. I was like Lee is that you? He just nodded his head, but kept his pint on his lips. I had to bend across the table to kiss him on the cheek as I always kiss my dates and he hardly acknowledged me. I honestly thought he was going to get up and walk out. (I’m now giggling at me reaching across the table trying to hug a man with a pint between us).

The Mate – Eeeeeeeeee ****** I think I would have died.  I would have walked in looked around and left.  What a prat.

Everybodys Mate – So I was like, erm that’s a bit frosty who on earth does not acknowledge a date that has walked in and ****** I’m not lying I looked in the mirror before I left and you know when you think to yourself  – wow you look really nice even ****** was like ‘wow Mam you look lovely’.  Anyway, as we were talking, he was ok-ish, I thought to myself put that behind you, maybe he’s shy. No one in the world is as shy as me at times, but never mind.  He bought me two drinks, then I got the next set. I put his drink down and he never even thanked me, who the hell does not say thanks for a drink? I was unsure if I had just not heard him so the next drink I bought I double checked.  He definitely did not.  I taught my son how to say please and thank you 10 years ago when he was a toddler there is no way I’m teaching a 40 year old man. Manners cost nothing but having no manners could cost a lot.

The Mate – I would have said ooo did you say thank you, actually no I wouldn’t, I would have quietly seethed thinking I wish I’d spat in it. Surely it’s harder to not say thank you than it is to say thank you. That is really bad. Even at work if someone brings you a coffee you say thank you. Even if you are on the phone at the time you gesture it.

Everybodys Mate – I know I was pretty shocked.

As we were talking I said ‘oh, I just live near where you’re building that extension’ he then said in a really serious voice as if he was a little annoyed ‘you’ve not been stalking me have you?’ Erm yes mate cos you’re totally Tom Cruise, you idiot. I omitted the whole, yes I drove past and prayed to God you were the guy at the bottom of the ladder.

The Mate – Did chuckle out loud at that.

Everybodys Mate – Then he asked me what way my house faced, I was unsure and he gave me such a dirty look and was like ‘you don’t even know what way your house faces?’ As if I was thick. Like I even care what way my house faces

The Mate – I’ve no idea where my faces, I’ve never been asked? Ha ha that’s a weird one.  Maybe he’s in to that feugshuay stuff………..

Everybodys Mate – No it was a conversation about my house needing to be repointed (no chance of a freebie off him)

When it came to leave, he ordered two taxis and I was thinking is that to make sure you don’t have to pay for me, stupid man. We were headed the same way. Then he text me – I’m home safe it was nice to meet you x x  – HE SHOULD BE TEXTING ME, ARE YOU HOME SAFE. I nearly responded with. Well I’m glad about that I got mugged twice on the way home. Crickey ******, it’s not my fault I swear it’s his haha

The Mate – No way!!!!!! He text you he was home safe ha ha ha aha that is the funniest thing. 

I really hope you he texts you so you can say all the above to him.

I don’t know what to say, is he shy?  Even if he’s shy though he doesn’t text I’m home safe ha hahahahahahahahah

Everybodys Mate – He’s obviously just totally rude with no manners whatsoever.

The Mate – Ok – so I’ll hold my hands up and say I’ve just text ******* saying omg ******* do you have access to email cos I need to send you Aunty *****’s email about her date last night……

****** I don’t know what to say…………..

So there you go, the whole night gets dissected. I was under the impression that I was not really what he was looking for yet he text me the following day for date two and how much he really liked me.  I told him I was not interested in a second date.  The worst part was I had to drive past him twice the next day building the extension to drop my son off at his dads (now I was stalking him). He was not impressed with the fact that I never wanted a second date and asked me what the problem was.  Did I tell him what the problem was? Did I bollocks, I just said you’re not what I’m looking for.  The day after that I received the following text message from him.


I take it he was interested in me and that was his best behaviour, he really needs to brush up on his dating skills because he came across as really rude.

One day I’ll find Mr Right I’m sure of it.




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One thought on “The Morning After The Night Before

  1. What a complete tool . I proper fancy my chances at asking you out now because I know for fact I can’t be worst than him and it pains me that your having no luck at all when you sound amazing

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