So there’s this guy I’ve been chatting to; we could talk for hours, he gets me – we laugh at the same things, eat at the same type of restaurants, we like the same drinking places and movies. It’s not often someone online catches your attention so much that you think of them during the day.
Things have gone from strength to strength with us. I’m going to call him ‘The One’. We message each other endlessly. He always asks about my day, he remembers all the little things that I have said, even things I have said to fill the time – he still remembers them. Our messages were not just a few words, I’m talking actually screen scrolling here. The conversation just keeps on flowing.
He gives me that feeling everytime my phone buzzes, my face can’t stop smiling. You know what it’s like when you’re waiting for a reply? it may only be 5 minutes but it feels like hours.
Anyway, we arranged a date and I couldn’t wait to meet him. I really feel that this is The One. I decide I am going to try really hard and make such an good impression on him.
He had been on holiday for two weeks, strangely the date he has chosen was the date he goes back to work in just over a week’s time. It does strike me as odd that he chose that date, especially as we are both off work. I don’t think too much into it as we are getting on great and maybe I’m just a lot more eager than him. He promised he won’t be like Cinderlla and have to be back early. He has even asked me to name some things I like to do so he can get his thinking cap on to make it a really good date as he wants to make a good impression (there he was making me smile again).
Then all of a sudden, 3 days before the date, his messages go quiet. He tells me he isn’t feeling very well and I authomatically think I know where this is going. The following day he suggests we cancel as he really is not feeling very well. He does say he doesn’t want to mess me around and that he was definitely not getting cold feet. I told him it was fine. And then he did it…………
He did that thing to me, that thing I never even knew existed until I decided to become a dating blogger and follow other people in the same boat as me. He did the thing we all hate, in fact I have grown to hate this thing that I have only just found out about more than I hate fish – and that’s a lot!. He GHOSTED me.
For all you lucky none daters who live in wedded bliss and have no idea that this horrible word exists, ghosting is a thing someone does to another person when they chat or date – some people have even gone as far as sleeping with the ghoster (before the ghosting obviously). And then it happens, they ignore you, go off the radar, left the building so to speak.
I can hear the ringing in my ear of everyone that this has ever happened to, yelling at the screen THE BASTARD! Pardon my language, but to be honest, there is no other language to use for these awful people who ghost other people.
Be a grown up and be honest. Just say ‘listen, I don’t think it’s going to work out’.
You could even be even more honest and say ‘sorry I’m dating someone else and you seemed an easy lay’!
So that is my first ever experience of the “ghosters” in the dating world and it’s an awful feeling of ‘why was I not good enough’? ‘What was it I said that made him ignore me’?
I can’t even call the ghosbusters on this one, if I could I would get them to bust his ass wide open.
For all you ghosters out there this blog is for you ….Don’t ghost, if you’re not that interested just leave it there. It really does hurt people’s feelings.