So it’s my first ever second date. We have opted for the cinema. We chatted a lot on our first date and have been messaging each other loads, so the fact of going to the cinema and not being able to talk is not bothering me at all and I’m quite comfortable with it. We arrange to meet outside and go to the bar for a couple of drinks before the movie. As I head towards the cinema I have the usual worry of, oh no, what does he look like? What if he walks past me and does not recognise me? Just then I spot him, he smiles over and as I get closer, I spot a mole just above his lip. I think back to our first date and really don’t remember him having a mole. I don’t want to stare at the mole too much and give him a complex, but manage to grab another quick look while he pays for the tickets and realise, it’s not a mole! I actually think it might be a tuft of hair that he has forgotten to shave and I smile at myself. How embarrassing on a second date that you have completely missed a patch of hair on your face. We head towards the bar and he orders us both a drink while asking me how my day has been. He then states he has had the day from hell topped off with the fact that his car had a flat tyre just as he was leaving to meet me. Oh, no, it’s oil on his face. I look to the left of my shoulder and that little angel in my head says ‘oh bless him, you must tell him’ I look to my right shoulder and that naughty little devil has a grin on his face ‘don’t be stupid you could use this for years if you two make it. Think of the story you can tell the grandchildren’. The devil wins. Oh come on, it’s funny…
We drink our coke and head into the pictures and take our seats. The little devil has now transformed himself into Mike Myers from Austin Powers and he is whispering in my ear Moley, Moley, Moley. I start to snigger, but as quietly as I can. I’m now fully aware that he will see my shoulders going up and down with the quiet giggling I’m doing. This goes on or about 45 minutes, the thoughts that are popping in my head are nobody’s business. I have even had an imaginary telephone conversation with my friend in my head telling her about the Moley, Moley, Moley. When all of a sudden out of nowhere someone in the pictures breaks wind. I laugh really loud at this and look over at him and he has a completely shocked look on his face and shakes his head and tuts like the person who broke wind is disgusting. I try to compose myself and have completely lost track of the film, so I hope he doesn’t question me when I get out of here. Then all of a sudden a lady in the cinema starts to laugh uncontrollably, which in turn sets my shoulders away again, as I still don’t want oily face seeing me giggling like a school girl. The laughing goes on for some time and the lady behind me then shouts “Jesus Christ it’s not that funny, you’re like the fucking Duracell bunny”. That’s it I literally can’t take anymore.
It’s my second date, I wanted to come across like I would be good wife material yet all I want to do is jump up and scream across the pictures, will you stop farting, will you stop laughing, will you stop swearing and for Christ sake will you wash that oil off your fucking face.
But instead I see the date out and even get a cheeky kiss and call my friend instantly on the way home and giggle uncontrollably about my second date laughter.
This dating malarkey is giving me some really good laughs so far.
I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did.