speed dating

The Results

So it’s time to upload my results from last night and find out if I’ve actually got a date this weekend or not. I take my card out of my bag and look at each individual person

Andrew – Lives in Durham and works in IT support.  He’s not really that good looking and he’s not getting a tick.  I could never kiss him so what is the point?

Sam – The best looking man in the room by far. I imagine all the girls will tick Sam.   He’s the one I keep imagining myself with, this is fate and we were supposed to meet. I needn’t bother ticking anyone else as me and Sam are going on a date on Saturday night, he is going to fall madly in love with me and thank god for that the search is off!

Chris – works for a telecommunications company. He was the second best looking in the room.  He works in a call centre and has won a few holidays and an award for the last 4 years by being the best Sales Man.  He’s not as nice as Sam, but he can be my back up.

Paul– He is a chef in my local area, he is one of those people that you would look at and just instantly think – oh poor you, but at least you have got yourself out of the house. I’m sure there’s a lovely girl out there for you, but I don’t think it’s me, I’m Sam’s.

Vic – He works in marketing and again I would put him in the bracket of not very good looking, mind you he does have a house in Jesmond, but he’ll still be a no for me.

David – David works for a company who sells accounts and payroll software, I wasn’t really feeling him so it will be a no from me.

Steven – He is a kitchen porter and quite socially awkward, he hardly knew what to say to me, he also had a runny nose. As he got up to leave my table, he noticed his runny nose and wiped each nostril with his finger and thumb.  He then stuck the very same hand out to shake mine at the end of the date.  I was totally mortified, but never had the heart not to shake his hand back.

Asif – He is a doctor who moved up from London, I did write ‘maybe’ beside his name but I think it might have been because I wanted to say “oo I’ve been on a date with a Doctor”.

Michael – As he took a seat, his first question was ‘what’s your thoughts on 50 shades of gray’? That threw me a little and I told him ‘I didn’t really enjoy it, but what a strange question, why do you ask’?  His reply is ‘oh this will ascertain whether I ask a girl out or not’.  Not really sure what he meant by that, he then asked me what is the craziest thing I have ever done whilst drunk.  I once has so much to drink in a shopping centre and the toilets were locked so I had to have a wee in the middle of the shopping centre, thank god it was the days before CCTV.  He is mortified by this and thinks I’m disgusting.  He then goes on to tell me that once when he was drunk he rode his bike all the way home with his brother talking to him on his phone.  I’m wondering if the conversation is actually happening or am I making this up in my head.

Andrew – Worked at Uni, this is all I have but I have ticked a yes – not a maybe, but a yes – so he must have did something right if only I could remember him. This is not going well.

Darren – He is rather on the large side and I can smell his breath over the table, I feel I am going to be sick. He does standup comedy and I want to say, don’t go round the tables whatever you do.

Clint – He is a lovely guy and he was my last date of the evening. He is a programmer and has just come here last minute from work.  I don’t fancy Clint in the slightest, but I actually would like to meet up for a coffee with him.  We laugh together and seem to have the same interests.

As I’m trying to work out who to tick and who not to, I’ve gone from ticking only Sam to ticking 3.

I must give this a go and don’t just go for who was good looking. I settled for Sam, Chris, & Clint.

I sit back and eagerly await for the results to come rolling in to see who ticked me. One by one the men are uploading their results and none of them are ticking me.  I finally get a tick from smelly breath and trust me, his breath was his best feature.

I’m still holding out for Sam. Oo I’ve got another tick, that’s from the guy who wiped his nose then shook my hand.  Sam finally uploads his results and it’s a no.  So that’s it then, no date for me and the only people who want to take me out are smelly breath and snot bags.  I’m hurt that Sam never ticked me.  I’ve thought about him all day long, even imagined us writing a book together, yet it seems he’s not given me a second thought.  Ouch, my ego can’t take anymore…

Even Clint decided I wasn’t right for him, this hurts me a little as we spoke for ages after the event. I don’t know why it bothers me as much, I only wanted to meet him for a coffee

I go to bed that night and cry myself to sleep. Even though my friends say I’m perfect in every way surely the results speak for themselves. I’m not sure what it was I did that night but I really wish I had went the same way as Anna; she never expected too much and she won’t spend tonight crying about the fact she can’t bag a date out of 12 men in a room.  Let’s be honest, I only liked Sam as he was the best looking and I don’t even know the guy – however I feel hurt that he never ticked me.

Anna never even uploaded her results or checked the CCTV. The moral of the story is don’t expect too much when speed dating, it should be taken as a bit of fun, not about you finding your future husband.

I’m sick of dating, I’m not even sure why I’m doing it. This has made me feel nothing but bad about myself.  Maybe I need another hobby and my friends are right when they say it will happen at the right time.

It still doesn’t make me feel any better though.

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