online dating

What Is A Whore These Days Anyway?

  
 

   

Well, I’ve had an eventful time of online dating and it’s only been one week. I’ve come to realise that online dating is full of sexual predators, or at least the site I used was. First of all I received this message from one delightful man..

  

 I mean really, who on earth would want to see that? This person actually lives in the same town as me and I wonder if he would be so cocky (pardon the pun) if he saw me in real life. It makes you wonder what on earth goes on in people’s minds.

I also had one man send me a message just saying “hi” on three consecutive days. I checked out his profile and his picture told me straight away the type of person he was and he’s not really the type of person I am looking for. His profile picture was him lying on a sunbed all oiled up with his muscles out with a sexual pose upon his face. I chose to ignore him, but on the fourth day he messaged me saying:-

HIM: I have sent you a few messages yet you have ignored me, can I ask you why?

ME: Yes I did see your messages but I don’t really believe you are what I’m looking for.

HIM: Why do you say that when you’ve not even gave me a chance? I could be exactly what you are looking for. I could be your Mr Grey, you shouldn’t always judge a book by its cover.

After a long hard think about it, maybe I was a bit mean and did judge him, maybe I should give him a chance.

ME: I’m so sorry, please accept my apologies. How are you and what have you been up to lately?

The conversation did go on for a couple of hours, but I won’t bore you with the details, then he sent me this:-

HIM: I live in Penrith. Have you ever been to Penrith?

ME: Oh yes, I love Penrith one of my best friends lived there so I quite often go.

HIM: Oh well, that’s great, it means you can travel here and come and have a threesome with me and my flatmate.

I don’t have to tell you that I deleted him straight away and now I know I was right to judge a book by its cover. I also now know that online dating is definitely not for me. Yet I have heard so many success stories. I even have a friend who married someone she met online, so why am I getting all of these crazy messages? Well, not actually me as let’s not forget I’m still Louise from Jarrow. Maybe they know that Louise is not a real person so they are getting all of their pent up sexual frustrations out on my profile. Mind you, if my sexual frustration leads me to want to see the below guys fetish, I think I would see a councillor.

  

 After a week of these obscene messages – and me losing the will to live – a male friend of mine asked how it was going and I explained to him some of the messages that I have received, he asked me if I am definitely on the right site and I’ve not joined some “free sex with fetishes site”. I explained to him that it was one that was recommended by my friend, and she’d had success so I am definitely on the right site. He offered to check out my profile and see what it is the men are seeing when they find me. He asked what my user name was and when I told him he nearly fell off his chair laughing. I was not amused at him in the slightest as I thought it was a great name and even had a certain ring to it. His laughter still rings in my ear today and I’m even smiling now writing up this blog for my stupidity at the thought of my user name.

HIM: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU HAVE JOINED AN ONLINE DATING SITE LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP AND CALLED YOURSELF CHARLOTTE THE HARLOT?

ME: Yes, why what is wrong with that?

After he finally stops laughing, he asks me to google the word Harlot which to my shock horror means a whore.

Poor Louise from Jarrow has put herself online posing as a whore..I told you I was going to be good at this.

But on a brighter note, I have found the man of my dreams on there. He is Managing Director in the same line of business as me. He doesn’t have a picture either, which means he might be similar to Louise from Jarrow. We’re going out on Saturday, I can’t wait. Who would have thought it would be so easy to find your prince after only one week of online dating and posing as a make believe character. I should have done this years ago…TO BE CONTINUED.

 

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